House move & Changes

So this is what I have been getting up to recently……

Diet, transitioning to Veggie/Pestecerian:

I have been buying more vegetarian and free from food, here is some of my meals and taste tests:

These were okay, tasted a bit like burgers although a bit dry. I ate them with Root vegetable mash.

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Singapore noodles (Tescos from fridge section) with Tinned mixed beans and mixed with worshire sauce.

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Sweet potato and mixed bean burger with tescos frozen steamed white and wild rice with vegetables microwave pack.

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Spicy Chickpea, Kale and sweet potato pie, this was pretty good although a bit too much pastry but I would buy it again. I ate it with frozen mixed steamed vegetables.

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Past sauce, this was a bit hard but I think I didn’t cook it enough and I didn’t measure the water so It was really runny, so it was more my poor cooking.

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This was okay, it was good to eat leafy green salad as I don’t often.

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What else? 

Fitness: 

I have bought this bad boy for £70, its getting delivered today. This should help keep me fit if I do at least 10 mins a day and work up to 30 mins. It’s both a bike and a cross trainer. So 2 work outs! I’m going to cancel my gym membership since I don’t actually go to it and I am wasting money 😦 So now I have NO escuses!

YOGA!

I have also booked a 1-2-1 yoga instructor to come once a week to my house after my son goes to bed, it will cost me £60 a month. So even though it’s twice the money I am paying for the gym it will be tailored to me and more accessible. I start next Wednesday and I will have 4 sessions before Christmas.

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Lifestyle & Health:

Lush.

So I bought this from Lush hoping it will give me a “milk bath” but it produced bubbles! I was hoping for a milk bath photoshoot for my little one, so it didn’t go to plan. I was hoping it would be a nice alternative to actual Milk.

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I’ve bought these from Tescos for £7 to see if it helps with my muscle ache and help me relax before bed and sleep better. I haven’t tried it out yet.

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Meds

My Dr has switched my anti depressants to these ones, they also help with pain from Fibro, although I am still struggling and my mood is a bit up and down since the transition of weeing off the other ones I have been on for about 3 years.

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My Himalayan salt lamp also broke 😦 So I’m waiting for my partner to have a look at it and hopefully he can fix it.

Moving house

I’ve moved house so I now live almost in the center of town, this makes it so much easier to get out and about to get my son to Nursery and get chores done, shopping and that sort of stuff done especially since I tier so easily. It used to stress me out leaving my house before, I’d have to plan at least 40 mins before I left the house, 10/15 mins to get me and my son ready and then 20-25 min walk into town. Even just the thought of having to plan getting out was mind stealing for me, which I know sounds like a minor thing but when you have Fibro and CFS everyday tasks are hard work.

So lots more little changes, hopefully help to change things.

That’s me for now, Torri.

 

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My year and little changes.

So through this year I have tried and made small changes. These are some of them.

LUSH

I go shopping at Lush every so often as we don’t have a store in my town so when I am out and about I go in and buy quite a bit! Lush is a local franchise in the UK of hand made fresh beauty products. Shopping in lush is always such a pleasant experience, the staff are always alternative looking which I love because they are real people and friendly, so smiley and always put me a good mood. The staff interact with my children so I can get on with having a look at whats in store without worrying about them touching things and what not. These are some of the products I have got this year.

Trial boxes, I am on this website and it has many offers and what not on it so I have been trying out some of these things.

Early Bird. 

Which is basically like Graze but much healthier, I only got the trial box, I try and eat healthy and that but I have varied tastes and it’s just not for me. Please note I am deleting my Instagram as I am now blogging here instead.

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Simply Cook. 

This basically gives you four recipes and then has all the sauces and flavorings with said meals. However its pretty expensive in my opinion and although the pots with the sauces in flavorings were tasty It’s much more cheaper to by spices in town whilst shopping.

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Toucan Box. 

The Toucan box is a craft box you can get delivered weekly with crafts for your children. I liked it but it was pretty simple and then I got the Weekend box  which was much better.

Weekend box. 

Me and my kids love this! I get the box delivered every week but it got very expensive, so I changed it to fortnightly and just 2 tasks instead of four but I just changed it to monthly as my daughter (Who changes her mind often like a 5 year old does) was getting a little bored and decided she didn’t like crafting so now they are less frequent.

The boxes come with Craft activities, growing activities and cooking/baking activities. It comes with almost everything you need or household items. I particularly like the growing activities, we had a rain forest, bean stalk and something else that has slipped my mind. This helped me with wanting to grow things myself, however in the smaller boxes we Don’t get the green finger boxes 😦

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Graze:

I had Graze for a while, but I found being a fussy eater even though I wish to eat healthier I just don;t like the tastes and boxes. I did change it to the chocolate box and the flap jack box but I just didn’t get on with them and they started stacking up so I un-subscribed.

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Melatonin: 

I have difficulty sleeping so I reached online and it said that Melatonin helps you sleep So I went on line and bought some. Couldn’t find any English suppliers but got some delivered and boy did it help! It allowed me to fall asleep easier and gave me a better quality of sleep without waking up so much. It was quite pricey but I bought it anyway because I was sick of feeling like a walking corpse.

So after I finished the tub, I went online to buy some more but they changed the shipping charges and it was even more pricey so I went to my Dr to see if I could get any prescribed to me. Turns out in the UK they only prescribe it to old people and children (eh?)

But I might get some more after I move so I can be a little more rested over the holidays and keep up with the busy one, well both my children and busy of course but she wants constant need of attention lol

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Dry air Plant

So I bought myself a Dry air plant, see I know that plants are really good for your system and clearing the air in your environment but I have this issue, I kill plants. I even killed my cactus! So whilst I was shopping I saw an Dry air plant and I thought, perfect. Yeah I killed it.

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Bamboo Utensils. 

Aldis is around the corner from me and every couple of months they have new things in to buy. One day whilst doing my weekly shop I saw these Bamboo children’s sets. These were perfect because I want to clear my kitchen and life out from plastic products and live a more natural lifestyle.

These are great but we have cracked a cup, they were just under £8 to buy a set.

Supplements

Because I walk around like death I bought myself a load of supplements to try and boost my energy and improve my overall living. I bought them from Holland and Barrett. Of course having ME basically nothing can help you, but I tried. I think that if you were a healthy person you would most likely have a healthier body if you took added supplements.

Apple Cider Vinegar tablets help with your Digestive health.

Vitamin C helps you recover quicker from ailments and keep you from having colds and boots the immune system.

Multi Vitamins.

Omega fish oil helps feed your brain and is a good fat.

B vitamin complex is good for energy. Having the Vitamin C helps the supplements work better in your system.

Not pictured is a new supplement I bought which is good bacteria.

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Goals & Dreams: 

I wrote all my desires out and put them up where I could see them, having them up in plain sight helps you be motivated to reaching them.

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Incense and Candles. 

I light these daily just to have a nice harmony and smell in the house. My favorite is Nag Champa.

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Himalayan salt lamp. 

My most recent buy was from Amazon and it’s a Himalayan salt lamp, these have massive health benefits. This one is on every single day in my lounge and I will be buying a new one for my bedroom once I move house next month.

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GYM membership 

So in March I got me a Gym membership at DW gym. Well unfortunately I don’t actually get to use it much due to childcare issues. My friend was going to the gym and she was like “Oh I love it, you should join” and as I want to be healthier, exercise more and being a member of that gym previously in 2012, I went in to inquire. Well little sales people there I walked out with a gym membership which I am annoyed with because I wouldn’t have got it if I knew that all the classes were in the morning and they finish at 1/2 pm.

You see my partner (Husband) works till 1 pm on weekdays and as I am a full time mum to our now 2.5 year old son, I have no childcare to go to the gym. All the classes I want to go to are in the mornings such as Yoga, Pilates, ti chi and aqua swim. Now knowing my body I know there is no point in me jumping in and trying to do vigorous exercise, such as the gym, insanity or Zumba as it just wouldn’t work because I simply cannot keep up and my body tiers easily and aches so much so it effects my every day tasks. It would simply be stupid of me to go and do a exercise class like that as it would take me a week to recover.

All the evening classes are more energetic classes, so I can;t even go in the evening to the gym. I was excited as in September my boy got his nursery placement but he only goes one morning a week which is a Wednesday. So I do manage to get there every now and again.

I wouldn’t have got the gym membership if I knew I couldn’t get to the Gym, my mate was like “Oh my hubby will look after your boy while we go to the gym back in March and it lasted around a fortnight. Not only was I walking like 45 mins from my house to theirs to drop him off, but I felt guilty as owt leaving him there.

Last week I tried a drumming class which was just around the corner and only cost me a quid for a half an hours class. The next day I could barley move I was in so much physical pain it was unreal 😦

I do however walk quite often. Here is one of my step counters 🙂

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Healthy eating: 

I have mentioned in previous blog posts my healthier eating and meals.

This is one of them:

Smoked salmon and shredded smoked peppered mackerel with kale and asparagus with w home made sauce.

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So those are little changes and things I have tried out.

That’s me for now, Love and light Torri.

 

2016 My declaration and failures.

In December just after Christmas and just before New Year I do my little dance, the same dance I do every year since I was a teenager about how “This year” is one I am going to “Improve myself” and set myself up with a few goals of things that I wish to achieve for that year. I of course always fail at this because I cannot attain my own goals because my head is riddled with mental health problems, so I set myself out to fail every year with my high expectations and perfectionism.

2016 I decided that I was going to be doing this differently this year, I realized my flaw of my “All or nothing” approach and that it simply did not work for me, leaving me to quit exhaustingly and depleting my soul with my epic failures. So I made this plan of how I was going to start my new regime with only doing “One minute a day” for one week and then to “Two minutes a day” the following week until I reached my goal of half an hours a day.

My goals/DREAMS were:

  • To meditate daily (30 mins- 15 mins morning and 15 mins before bed)
  • Have a vegan lifestyle.
  • Do yoga daily (15-20 mins)
  • Grow my own fruit, herbs and veggies (Though I down’t have a garden)
  • Have a better work life balance.
  • Be a better mother (Play with my children more)
  • Be an award winning photographer.
  • Quit smoking.
  • Quit drinking.
  • Take an hours exercise class once or twice weekly.
  • Walk 30 mins a day.
  • Go to bed before midnight (Buy a weighted blanket)
  • Be more minimalist.
  • Making my own beauty products.
  • Buy Organic foods.
  • Buy Cruelty free products when not making beauty products.
  • Detox my body from Florine (iodine) and make my own toothpaste.
  • Buy a water filter, full one for all water production in my house.
  • Drink more water and buy an alkaline water filter.
  • Quit drinking coffee.
  • Stop taking Painkillers, look for natural remedies instead.

As you can see that’s one hell of a list!

We are currently on October the 24th and I have managed to complete only 2 of the things on my list which are: Quit smoking and become an Award Wining Photographer.

I have improved a few things in my life, such as I have been trying vegan products and choosing more vegetarian meals while out and about and I have joined the gym although I barley go since I have little childcare during the morning classes that I wish to do. I have donated tons of my belongings to Woman’s aid and other stuff I’ve sorted out to sell.

As you can see I could see myself as being a failure once again because I didn’t achieve half of the things on my list. But I have again decided that it’s time for an “Awakening” like I had last December when I realized that my ability to change is unattainable, again I am unable to ease my way into changing and I am unable to pressure myself into changing but I am able to change, I have hope!

My problem lies within, within my mind and my energy. I have learnt that I am a person who takes things slowly, and that slowly may seam almost not starting and it may even halt at times as well as go backwards before I continue with my journey. This I have realized is me and am begging to accept it.

To fully free myself and be the person I wish to become I must free my mind and manage my health. I finally got diagnosed with ME (Myalgic encephalomyelitis) At first it was labeled as Fibromiyagia but I do believe it’s just another name for ME as it’s also known as CFS which is Chronic Fatigue syndrome in fact they have merged the two now as ME/CFS. The problem is when you say you have “Fibro” you get the whole “Oh the phantom pain syndrome” and that it’s not a real condition. But looking back at my medical history we find that I have been suffering with ME since I was only 14 years old. This condition is delbrating and is getting worse, everyday tasks now become a chore and my exhaustion is a barrier against me and my parenting. The people around me are getting annoyed with my “I’m so tired” and my “I’s so exhausted” But I understand, they haven’t the vaguest conception of how exhausting it is being a human when you have ME, you can’t unless you have the condition yourself. Before I am 50 I will be wheelchair bound most likely, but of course I cannot simply talk about this to others they cannot see my illness, there is no logical reason why I am having pain persay.

I started my “Nourish not punish” album on my personal facebook charting my journey with my weight loss. Except I’ve danced with that stone all year and loosing some, gaining some back and loosing it again ect. I invested in weight loss hypnotherapy which most likely would have worked if I could follow the rules, but I could not. The very simple rules I could not follow like I cannot shift my depression no matter what I try to do and trust me I’ve tried all sorts to “Fix myself” and “Get better” and “Become a better version of Victoria” But I don’t move forward very much.This is me, I have realized it and I am on the journey to accepting it.

It’s not that I am giving up, I am just being realistic and understanding that this is me, my brain obviously works this way and instead of fighting it I must work with it if I am to get a better chance of a life and most deffently to be able to be a mother to my babies which is my wholeheartedly wish.

So here I am, here is my blog where I will in time, chart my life and my desire and dream to become a better version of Victoria.I have of course had other blogs over the years but this one I have attached to my work blog and is websitey which I like.

This is me, I am Torri and this is my journey.