In January I attempted the “Veganrary challenge”as I want to improve my lifestyle, eat healthier and switch back to my veganism.
In 2007 I was Vegan for around a year, the problem I had was that I knew nothing about veganism or knew anyone who was vegan to help with my transition. I was also suffering from a serious eating disorder at the time, so of course I did see this as a bit of a weight loss method as it would get me out of eating a lot of products.
Turns out it was incredibly difficult for me with my raging eating disorder to keep to a vegan diet and in my binges I would eat anything and everything and throw it back up again which unfortunately could be several times a day. I wasn’t a very good vegan, I’d forget at times because my mind was so “food, food, food, feed me!” since I was fasting, and restricting to eating under 800 calories a day or eating only 200-300 calories daily. My brain wasn’t functioning very well and it didn’t occur to me that veganism was a lifestyle rather than a diet choice, I knew a bit but not enough to warrant me an logical informed change of lifestyle.
When I went into rehab to get better from my Eating disorder in 2008, I was forced to eat meat and then told that it would benefit me from being a carnivore, so I converted to a pestecerian diet of eating only chicken and fish and this lasted until 2010 when I fell pregnant and craved meat floured food. I listened to my body and thought that I needed to listen to it and went back to meat eating.
6 years later and in a much better place mentally, I feel I am ready to go back to my vegan lifestyle and this is truly what I want and not a ploy for my eating disorder although that is what Emma believed. I have witnessed first hand abuse to animals living with my abusive step father and it wasn’t simply about my eating disorder its within me.
Of course me, being me I can’t simply just fucking do something so I understand that this for me is a process, a mighty long process so here is my story and wish to change.
I shall discuss my taste tests in my next blog entry, love and light Torri.